What if this was the best thing that ever happened?
There’s a kind of optimism I think we grow into with age.
It’s not sunshine and manifesting and pretending everything’s fine.
It’s something messier, a bit more feral.
It looks more like: “I have no clue how this will turn out… but I’m still here.”
Lately, I’ve been working hard to choose that kind of optimism.
And some days, it’s exactly that — work.
I’ve turned off the news (ah-gain).
I’m trying not to spiral when my doctor’s face looks a little too serious.
But it doesn’t take much — honestly, she could just glance at the screen too long and I’m planning my memorial playlist and wondering if Luke will keep the studio going in my honour.
My brain tells me: “This time, it’s different. This time it’s real.”
And yet… it never is.
So I’ve started asking myself:
What if this is the best thing that ever happened?
What if it’s the beginning of something better, deeper, more meaningful — even if it’s messy to get there?
That little reversal has saved me more times than I can count.
It doesn’t erase the anxiety, but it gives me something else to work toward.
And you know what? It works.
I had that same spiral before my last retreat.
I was convinced no one would come. That it was a bad idea. That I’d misread everything and this would be the one that flopped.
But it ended up being one of the most connected, soulful events I’ve ever hosted.
The women who came were so special to me — and the experience was so powerful — they insisted I run another one. So I am.
That’s what I mean about optimism.
It’s not fluffy.
It’s a decision to care again.
To stop tolerating what’s not working.
To believe — even cautiously — that life can feel more aligned, more alive.
And I’m still learning that too.
I still have days I feel like I’m doing everything wrong.
But maybe… what if none of it was wrong?
What if we just needed to tell the truth, even quietly?
Like one of my fellow yoga teachers in the States wrote to me recently —
After years of performing and holding it all together as a school teacher, she’s finally letting herself be instead of perform.
And she said my emails helped her feel brave enough to do that.
That cracked my heart open.
Because that’s the kind of community we’re building here.
Not just bendy bodies and breathwork — but women who are done with the performance, and ready for real.
With love and a quiet sense that we’re all doing better than we think,
Sadie x
